


Condy Takes a Shitton of Selfies

by ghostlypleading



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comedy, Condy - Freeform, Her Imperious Condensation, Humor, Not Serious, Other, Selfies, Trollstagram
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 15:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3614649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlypleading/pseuds/ghostlypleading
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So the Condy takes selfies, trollstagram happens, and i'm obvs not srs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Condy Takes a Shitton of Selfies

**Author's Note:**

> *ZEPHYR RaisEs HER Hands and sHouts*  
> I DON'T OWN hOMeSTUCK!

So liek The Condy was bored off  of her tits. Her Imperious Condensation shouldn't be bored so she used her Condy powers to poof the fuck out of wherever she was before, but not before grabbing her Troll Iphone in MAJESTICAL TYRIAN PINK. Because fuck canon. Anyways, so Condensation poofed into Aradia Megido's general location in a HIPPETY SWAGtm OUTFIT. IN TYRIAN PINK. She grabbed the rustblood and quickly took a selfie before uploading that shit to Trollstagram. YEAH. She used her Condy powers to give Aradia a signed copy of their selfie together. With their shipname, because fuck canon.   
#ConRadia!

Anyways, so Her Imperious Condensation poofed into Tavros's hive because MAJESTICAL TYRIAN PINK MAGIC, but this time she was wearing a COOL PIRATEtm OUTFIT. IN TYRIAN PINK. Tavros was already beside The Condy so she simply put her arm around the brownblood before snapping a selfie. This time, she uploaded it with a shiny ass fucking filter. Of course, she used her magic Condy powers to drop Tavros a signed selfie+their ship name.

#ConTav

Back to the story. Her Imperious Condensation ceremoniously dropped into  Sollux's hive bcz u k, MAJESTICAL TYRIAN PINK MAJYKS. She used her CONDYPSIIONICStm to grab the troll while snapping a selfie in her MAJESTICAL TYRIAN PINK FLIGHSUIT because fuck canon. She made a duck face with the captor and then uploaded that shit to Trollstagram.Once again with Condy powers she gave him their signed selfie along with their ship name.

#SolCon, because Sollux is SO topping this bitch.

Her Imperious Condensation poofed into Neopeta's cave to take her selfie, but said troll was wearing a fancy dress so she used her Condy powers to change the outfit that she had planned for this selfie. She was now wearing... A TYRIAN PINK UBER FANCY LOLITA DRESS WITH STOCKINGS. Nepeta was very excited to take this selfie, bcz u k, it's Her Imperious Condensation. Who wouldn't want to fuck that hot piece of ass. MM. Anyways, they took a selfie but Condy stayed long enough to squeal over ships. Then she poofed, leeaving a signed copy of their selfie with their ship name and a small heart beside it.

#ConNep, which might become canon 3;)

After spending a second in CONDYSPACEtm pondering, said Condy decided to take a selfie with Kanaya Maryam. When she poofed into the jadeblood's hive, Kanaya and Karkat were wearing some fucking fancy ass black dresses. Why Karkles was in a dress, noone will evur NOW. (Fuck Canon). Condy was now wearing a UBER MAJESTICAL FANCU COCKTAIL DRESS IN TYRIAN PINK. She swept the smaller trolls into her arms with her CONDYPSIIONICStm before snapping the fucking selfie. Afterwards, she quickly uploaded that shit to Trollstagram before disappearing with the two signed copies of the selfie taped to the respective troll's faces along with their ship name.

#KarConKan bc Karkitty is totes a top.

Her Imperious Condensation appeared into Terezi's hive in her UBER MAJESTICAL TYRIAN PINK LEGISLACERATOR OUTFIT. Terezi was cosplaying Redglare at the time, so it was totes cool. Anyways, Terezi and Condy squealed about stuff before taking a super selfie. Before Condy poofed, Terezi handed her a TYRIAN PINK scalemate with wicked sparkly black eyes. Because Fuck Canon. Condy poofed, leaving a signed copy of their uber cool super selfie with their ship name.

#ConRezi

 The Imperious Condensation was now in spiderwoman's hive, aka Vriska/Vwhiskers/Spiderbitch. Vriska was cosplaying as Mindfang, and Condy was now in a different UBER COOL TYRIAN PINK PIR8 COSTUME aswell. Vriska squealed over Condy's hair and Condy squealed about Vriska's lusus. They then took a selfie together before Her Imperious Condensation whiskered herself away, but leaving a signed copy of their selfie with their shipname.

#VrisCon bcz Vris is almost canonically a dom

 Her Imperious Condensation instantly poofed into Equius's hive in nothing but her TYRIAN PINK UNDERTHINGS, leaving a sweaty Equius speechless as she grabbed a selfie. Before she disappeared, she gave Equius a kiss that he could tell Nepaste about. As promised, a signed copy of said selfie appeared along with their ship name.

#EquiCon bcz he prolly has a big tentabulge.

The Condy then showed up in a hive with a sopored up indigo blood lives. Said Gamzee was now staring at what was Her Imperious Condensation wearing A TYRIAN PINK EDITION OF THE GHB'S CLOTHES YO. He offered her some TYRIAN PINK FAYGO bcz he's Gamzee what flavour does he not have. Also, FUCK CANON. After Condy downed the offered drink, they took a TOTES WICKED SELFIE YO, before Her Imperious Condensation uploaded it to Trollstagram. She then poofed, leaving a signed copy of their selfie and their shipname for Gamzee to stick to his wall with sopor.

#GamCon bcz he's totes a top.

 Her Imperious Condensation was now in Eridan's drafty ass fucking hive. She stared at him for a sec before givin him the CONDY WORDS OF WISDOMtm

"Child, you needs to fuckin get a better crib yo." Before shoving him into the side of her TYRIAN PINK DUALSCAR OUTFIT bosom while snapping a whimsical selfie. She then let him pick a filter before uploading, then she poofed, leaving nothing but a signed copy of their shellfie with their ship name.

#EriCon, but Her Imperious Condensation still tops.

This last one would be vury difficult. She had to take a selfie with......... DRAMATIC GASP IN TYRIAN PINKKKKKKKKK

 

 

 

 

Feferi Peixes.

When she poofed into Fef's hive, Feferi closed out of the porn she was watching before the Condense could see. But Condy did. Anyways.

"Hey child. I need to ask you fo a favor MMKAY?" Conday said.

"Um okay mom." said Fefari because ancestors are totally moms. Shut the fuck up and Fuck Canon.

Condy was now wearing her REGULAR CLOTHES because y'know.

"Alright child, grab yo trident. We is gon match all up in this shit." Said Her Imperious Condensation.

Feferi did as she was told, grabbing her culling fork before swimming over to her momma's side. Then, Condy took the selfie. It was glorius. She uploaded with care to Trollstagram, then looked at Feferi.  
"Also child, yo taste in pr0n is totes wicked yo." She said before poofing, leaving a signed copy of the selfie and their ship name.

#PeixesCest


End file.
